Curated by Kelly: Adoption: Starting on the Inside

All kinds of people adopt. Young, old, married, unmarried, gay, straight, blended families, families with bio children, families without?you name it and it exists. Just as there are a million types of families who adopt, there are a lot of ways to adopt a child.?Stick with me for the next few weeks as I explore how we started on our journey and ended up with our precious boys.?My focus will be sharing how we adopted domestically through the foster care system.

We celebrated "coming home day" this weekend. It's been one year since we became a family and I cannot believe our amazing journey.?

First and foremost, when considering adoption, you must examine your motivations. No matter where your child comes from, whether it is international, domestic or a family adoption, that child has been through some kind of trauma.?There is not one right motivation for adoption but your motivation should never be to ?rescue? a child or because it the trendy thing to do at church or in the media. Ultimately, you should be willing to give that child unconditional love no matter what they have been through.

It's also important to set realistic expectations for the process and for the child. In our experience, the process involved a lot of ups and downs and a few disappointments before we were placed with our children. It also involved a lot of patience. What helped us cope were our realistic expectations and trust in the process.

As far as expectations for the child goes, we had to remember that just as we are not perfect, neither is any child. Attachment and trust take time and patience.

Just as new parents invest time in nightly feedings, changing diapers, and more with a newborn, you will equally invest in building trust and attachment when your child comes home. Our experience involved taking leave from work, lots of sleepless nights and a huge investment of our time in training to prepare, among many other things.

The journey to adoption begins on the inside. Examine yourself and your expectations. Spend time reading books and blogs and begin to build a social network of others who have adopted. Ask them questions and spend time with their families and look for resources in the church and community.

We started out by talking to others who have adopted and reading books and blogs like crazy. A few books and blogs we started with:
Instant Mom
Rage Against the Minivan
Adoption Nation
Jen Hatmaker
Adopt Without Debt
The Complete Adoption Book

Source: http://curatedbykelly.blogspot.com/2013/07/adoption-starting-on-inside.html

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